This post is going to encompass three songs, the third song isn't actually on the new single but has been leaked on to the internet so I'll be god damned if I don't talk about that too.
Track List -
1. Pussy
2. Rammleid
3. Liebe Ist Für Alle Da
Pussy:
In the opening moments of the song "Pussy" my heart was all aflutter with the glee of a 15 year old girl who just picked up a week old puppy and melted with the passion that I thought I would never understand, for I'm a man and these feelings aren't in my genetic makeup. We'll I learned why men don't have these feelings twenty two seconds into the song, as what could be misconstrued as being a moderately familiar drum and synth beat, only with what may be perceived as a wild reimagining of a childhood classic is fucking destroyed. No this isn't a cover of the song "Pussy" by the Lords of Acid, which I thought was going to be a rather funny mash up. Now I could say that this shouldn't take anything away from the experience because after all I was hearing a brand new song by one of my favorite bands. End result? I'm not going to say that, even a little.
What we've ended up getting is a mess of English being sang by Germans with the only German sounding like a shitty garage black metal band just threw it in for the shit of it, an example of this is the words "farfegnugen" "blitzkrieg" and the ever famous "bratwurst" making a cameo appearance. Now this may be one of those things that the band does that is lost on me due to me being an American, it may actually be a well thought out satire of the garage black metal band scene butchering the bands native tongue but I'm an American so I'm not going to defend them on this one. Also on the lyrical note the chorus goes like this:
"You've got a Pussy, I have a dick, So what's the problem? Lets do it quick/
So take me now before its to late, life's too short so I can't wait/
So take me now Oh don't you see I can't get laid in Germany"
While I find that last part a little humorous the whole thing just kind of fell flat for me. This has to be the most disappointing single that Rammstein has put out so far in my opinion.
Rammleid:
Okay this one is going to be shorter than the review of "Pussy". "Rammleid" Starts off kicking you in the balls and I'm pretty sure this is the song that they are going to open shows with on the next tour, as it screams "Set starter" in its set up much like the song "Reise Reise" did. The real issue with this track is they cannot get over their name as "Rammstein!" is shouted roughly 20 million times. This is probably the most mediocre song Rammstein has released to date. This is like going into the ice cream parlor and asking for a mint chocolate chip blizzard after a long day working in the sun and the only thing you want in the world is a mint chocolate chip blizzard, only to be told they are out of all flavors of ice cream except vanilla. It's just disheartening.
Liebe Ist Für Alle Da:
Now this one isn't on the single and you really have to wonder why, it was leaked onto the net a few months back so it seems like they would try to get at least some money off of it before the actual album hits. Well I listened to this one last in the order of the three, preparing for the worst after the poor showing of the last two tracks. Sadly I was a fool. This song has made me believe that this new album has the chance to not blow after all, it has everything I want out of a Rammstein song, mad snare drumming with guitars going right in time with them. This is the kind of song you can see yourself breaking your nose to, which I think is the best thing I can say about a Metal song (or whatever genre you want to put Rammstein in)
Also Pussy has a video out that I watched out of curiosity and well I guess I should have seen what was coming when I had to go to a porn site to watch it, pretty much if you ever want to see a roughly 45 second porn staring the members of Rammstein fucking super models with like three minutes of generic music video surrounding that, you will be in for a treat.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Colored Life
I like comic books. There I said it. I know what you’re thinking, “Sam likes comics? Why that certainly doesn’t make any sense, he’s just the guy who makes bad comic strips on the Internet that I don’t understand. He surly must hate the medium so much that he is waging a one man crusade against it, who only hopes to one day strike that final death blow into its fragile skull with the sick anticipation of that oh so inevitable brain leak on the ground that you know that the sick son of a bitch will devilishly lap up like some sort of thirsty stray on the street.” Now based on your way too detailed thoughts I’m going have to reply with only sick wonderment at you. Seriously who would come up with that stray cat part? You’re the sick son of a bitch.
Anyway the point of all this isn’t how appalling you are, (which don’t get me wrong you are quite appalling) this is about the comic book Invincible written by Robert Kirkman, who by all means is one hell of a writer. For those of you out of the loop Invincible is probably the best comic on the stands, when it comes out that is. Invincible chronicles the adventures of a collage aged superhero that has to deal with all the standard superhero bullshit. Super villains, yeah he fights them, angst ridden young adult drama, check-a-roo, massive government conspiracy, you guessed it. All par for the course, though Kirkman writes it with a style and grace that many other writers just seem to lack. Perhaps it’s because it’s his book about charters he created and knows who they are inside and out, I don’t know, he’s just awesome at this shit. Now with this said and considering the understated nature of my description of the actual story of Invincible this may come as a surprise when I say that this comic book prompted me to do something I’ve never done in the nearly seventeen years I’ve been reading comics, I wrote in to the letters page. Yes now that I’m in my twenties I suddenly felt the urge to live out my dream from ten years ago, I’m awesome like that. The reason I wrote in wasn’t to speculate about where the story is going, I rather like just sitting on the edge of my seat and just watch it happen, after all I have no influence over the outcome any way so why pretend like I do. I also didn’t write in to ask any number of inane questions, though those are Kirkman’s favorite types as he has gone on the record saying as much many times. No I wrote in because one of my personal industry heroes had just finished his last book in the series. Was it the artist? On average people love artists more than writers anyway so was I forlorn over the loss of the reason I bought the book in the first place? Sarcasm aside, nope. While Ryan Ottley is a god damned G he’s still on the book. Was it that driving force behind why Invincible is awesome, Robert Kirkman himself left the book to go on to different things? Nope that’s not going to happen. Did the letterer leave the book because no one normally cares about the letterer? Nah. All of these would have been good guesses though. No the real culprit was the colorist, Bill Crabtree who had gone on to do things that I’ll never read.
Now ever since I started reading this particular book I have loved the coloring, it was simple understated and fluid. The complexity of it all was all in the simplicity of his colors; despite how easy and simple it looked I couldn’t even begin to recreate Crabtree’s style if I tried. At first glance it could look like the book might have been colored in flats but after a few seconds you realize just how subtle and seamless all of the shadows and highlights were and at that moment if the reader of the comic has a heart it should be wormed straight to the pulmonary artery. Though if the reader does in fact lack this essential piece of the human puzzle they simply just stare blankly at the colored page until someone realizes that they are in fact dead and calls the mortician, and possibly the police to report heart thieves on the loose.
I thought my letter was awesome. Ok that’s a bullshit lie. It was merely okay. Hell I was attempting to achieve one of my childhood goals ten years too late, so basically I felt like a twelve year old while writing it. Despite this possibly subconscious tactical ploy, some how some way it was deemed not suitable for print by someone in the bullshit bureaucracy and the letter never saw the light of day, until now, so without further ado here is the letter I sent in only to have it stymied:
Robert,
As a pretend armature colorist who aspires to one day become a pretend professional colorist it saddened me to see Bill Crabtree leave the book. Over the course of the last fifty issues Mr. Crabtree has grown to be my favorite colorist, mostly because you made sure I knew his name by telling everyone how awesome a job he did on whatever issue I was reading. By the same token, Rus Wooton is the only letterer I even know the name of, making him the best in the industry by default. I guess this leads into my numbered question:
1) Why can’t everyone in comics be as magnanimous as you are?
Anyway whoever this Fco Plascencia is they better have the ability to blow my brains straight to Mars because Bill Crabtree is going to be on hell of an act to follow.
-Sam
Nothing offensive, right? Oh well good thing I have my own pseudo publishing outlet to circumvent the legal red tape that stood in the way of this letters greatness. Now to address this Fco Plascencia person, first how the hell do you even pronounce that name? Second off Ole Fco here is no Bill Crabtree. The elegance that was once a staple of the book no longer exists and it kind of saddens me, hopefully he/she/it will get better in the upcoming issues but as of this writing I’m not impressed.
Monday, July 28, 2008
The Rational Mumblings of a Madman
“I believe that these extra-terrestrial vehicles and their crews are visiting this planet from other planets, which are a little more technically advanced than we are here on earth.”
Excerpt from a letter written by
Gordon Cooper to the United Nations
Who in the hell is Gordon Cooper? Why should you care about what some nut job writes to the U.N.? All very good questions and will be answered in due time.
To get to the bottom of all of what should seem like nonsense to any normal person who didn’t just spend the last couple of days doing research in the loosest way possible, I need to start with July 23 2008. You see on July 23red something happened that made the child lurking inside of me giddy as a little girl, Edgar Mitchell did an interview on British radio station Kerrang! 105.2, a station that according to the universal database that is the Wikipedia is ‘a specialist rock music radio station,’ and proceeded to proclaim for all to hear that, “I happened to be privileged enough to have, uhh, be in on the fact that we have been visited on this planet and the U.F.O. phenomenon is real...”
Holy shit. Did I just hear that right? Some asshole just went on the radio and told me that aliens do exist? Well I could have done that, well maybe not the whole British radio part but you get my point. So now we have two unknown assholes just going on and on about how aliens are real and have in fact visited planet earth. Crazy people say crazy thing eh? These two trucker-cap and wife beater wearing hillbillies should just shut their gaping maws and enrich the world with their golden silence, right amigos? Well if I had just painted these men in any kind of true light I would have to agree but the problem is that both of these men are real life American heroes, the last of a dying breed and some of the first of there kind, not the first but close enough, these men are both retired astronauts. Gordon Cooper was the final member of the Mercury space program to orbit the earth, Dr. Edgar Mitchell on the other hand stepped out of the hatch of Apollo 14 right after Alan Shepard and took a merry little jaunt across the surface of the moon. So when these guys talk it seems to add a little bit of weight to an argument about space related things in my opinion.
Through out the interview Mitchell talked about several things that seemed quite interesting to be coming out of the mouth of an astronaut, such as validating the Roswell New Mexico flying saucer crash of 1947 and other things. Shortly after I listened to the stream of the radio broadcast, I had two prevailing thoughts on my mind the first was, “God damn it, this almost adds a bit of validity to the shitty story of Indiana Jones 4,” this was quickly followed by, “I should really tell someone about this.” The funny thing about this is that no one else seemed to be interested in the fact that the sixth man on the moon was walking around talking about how the earth has been visited by extra-terrestrials, my father even went so far as to say “It’s good to know that they’re letting crazies walk on the moon now.” Not that I really think that Mitchell’s claim proves that aliens exist or even that I really think that we have been visited by little green men in flying saucers, it just seemed so interesting that Mitchell would so boldly state this and no one would find even raise an eyebrow. So in a fit of needing confirmation that this happened was in fact interesting I set fourth on my mission for validation.
What I found though wasn’t quite what I expected. You see the radio show I listened to had a host who had never in a million years imagined that when he sat down to interview an astronaut that the bombshell that the truth is out there would be cast down upon his head, which was much the same reaction that I had. Fuck Mitchell was the sixth man on the moon, up until this point in my life I only knew who first, second and fifth men on the moon were to me, for all intents and purposes Edgar Mitchell was birthed into existence when he conducted this interview.
After some research I learned that this wasn’t the tectonic plate shattering announcement that I once thought it was, no my new hero seems to have a history of confirming the existence of aliens and the reality of the Roswell incident. This was a little jarring to me that the guys at Kerrang! radio would have over looked this history with Mitchell, that or this was the reason that he was invited on to the show. Just think of all of the publicity that they have gotten out of this, I didn’t know that Kerrang! existed until this point and I feel safe assuming that until you read this you didn’t know about them either, I think that these guys decided to brew up a storm in teacup to up there notoriety with the public. I can see it now, in a quaint little coffee shop located in Wakefield England two young people are sitting down smoking there cigarettes and sipping on there fancy coffees when one mentions, “Ey you hear about how Kerrang! had some space man on the show and said that little green men exist?” shit everyone in ear shot just got hit by word of mouth advertisement. Though England might not be quite like that it’s how I would like to imagine that scenario going down. But this still doesn’t seem to answer my question, why is Mitchell going around talking about these facts so bluntly and not caring if people label him a crazy?
Well upon further research I learned that Mitchell once lived in the Roswell area. He explained that some of his incontrovertible evidence came straight from the horses mouths, he has talked extensively with the old timers of the area, ranging from ranch owners to people that he claims to have researched were in fact the military personal who responded to the saucers crash back in forty seven. After learning this I walked away from everything with a whole new perspective, I don’t think it matters too much to Mitchell that he knows that aliens exist and is on some sort of Fox Mulder crusade to rip the veil from of the eyes which the general public proudly wears. No I think that the true intention may be to keep the original lore of the night of July 7, 1947 in Roswell New Mexico alive. If he convinces a couple of people along the way it’s probably a plus but at least in this time when any damned fool, not unlike myself, can go on the internet and say and thing they want, he is keeping the tale alive the way stories have sense the first story was told.
Now for my entire life I have liked the idea of visitors from space, I have never cared if they were the hippy technology giving verity or the bad ass we are going to rape your planet kind, I just kind of wanted the fantastic to come real and spice up what is a fairly repetitive history log that us humans have. Do I think that what Mitchell says is true? Not really but I appreciate what he has done to help keep some bullshit childhood fantasy of mine alive.
Excerpt from a letter written by
Gordon Cooper to the United Nations
Who in the hell is Gordon Cooper? Why should you care about what some nut job writes to the U.N.? All very good questions and will be answered in due time.
To get to the bottom of all of what should seem like nonsense to any normal person who didn’t just spend the last couple of days doing research in the loosest way possible, I need to start with July 23 2008. You see on July 23red something happened that made the child lurking inside of me giddy as a little girl, Edgar Mitchell did an interview on British radio station Kerrang! 105.2, a station that according to the universal database that is the Wikipedia is ‘a specialist rock music radio station,’ and proceeded to proclaim for all to hear that, “I happened to be privileged enough to have, uhh, be in on the fact that we have been visited on this planet and the U.F.O. phenomenon is real...”
Holy shit. Did I just hear that right? Some asshole just went on the radio and told me that aliens do exist? Well I could have done that, well maybe not the whole British radio part but you get my point. So now we have two unknown assholes just going on and on about how aliens are real and have in fact visited planet earth. Crazy people say crazy thing eh? These two trucker-cap and wife beater wearing hillbillies should just shut their gaping maws and enrich the world with their golden silence, right amigos? Well if I had just painted these men in any kind of true light I would have to agree but the problem is that both of these men are real life American heroes, the last of a dying breed and some of the first of there kind, not the first but close enough, these men are both retired astronauts. Gordon Cooper was the final member of the Mercury space program to orbit the earth, Dr. Edgar Mitchell on the other hand stepped out of the hatch of Apollo 14 right after Alan Shepard and took a merry little jaunt across the surface of the moon. So when these guys talk it seems to add a little bit of weight to an argument about space related things in my opinion.
Through out the interview Mitchell talked about several things that seemed quite interesting to be coming out of the mouth of an astronaut, such as validating the Roswell New Mexico flying saucer crash of 1947 and other things. Shortly after I listened to the stream of the radio broadcast, I had two prevailing thoughts on my mind the first was, “God damn it, this almost adds a bit of validity to the shitty story of Indiana Jones 4,” this was quickly followed by, “I should really tell someone about this.” The funny thing about this is that no one else seemed to be interested in the fact that the sixth man on the moon was walking around talking about how the earth has been visited by extra-terrestrials, my father even went so far as to say “It’s good to know that they’re letting crazies walk on the moon now.” Not that I really think that Mitchell’s claim proves that aliens exist or even that I really think that we have been visited by little green men in flying saucers, it just seemed so interesting that Mitchell would so boldly state this and no one would find even raise an eyebrow. So in a fit of needing confirmation that this happened was in fact interesting I set fourth on my mission for validation.
What I found though wasn’t quite what I expected. You see the radio show I listened to had a host who had never in a million years imagined that when he sat down to interview an astronaut that the bombshell that the truth is out there would be cast down upon his head, which was much the same reaction that I had. Fuck Mitchell was the sixth man on the moon, up until this point in my life I only knew who first, second and fifth men on the moon were to me, for all intents and purposes Edgar Mitchell was birthed into existence when he conducted this interview.
After some research I learned that this wasn’t the tectonic plate shattering announcement that I once thought it was, no my new hero seems to have a history of confirming the existence of aliens and the reality of the Roswell incident. This was a little jarring to me that the guys at Kerrang! radio would have over looked this history with Mitchell, that or this was the reason that he was invited on to the show. Just think of all of the publicity that they have gotten out of this, I didn’t know that Kerrang! existed until this point and I feel safe assuming that until you read this you didn’t know about them either, I think that these guys decided to brew up a storm in teacup to up there notoriety with the public. I can see it now, in a quaint little coffee shop located in Wakefield England two young people are sitting down smoking there cigarettes and sipping on there fancy coffees when one mentions, “Ey you hear about how Kerrang! had some space man on the show and said that little green men exist?” shit everyone in ear shot just got hit by word of mouth advertisement. Though England might not be quite like that it’s how I would like to imagine that scenario going down. But this still doesn’t seem to answer my question, why is Mitchell going around talking about these facts so bluntly and not caring if people label him a crazy?
Well upon further research I learned that Mitchell once lived in the Roswell area. He explained that some of his incontrovertible evidence came straight from the horses mouths, he has talked extensively with the old timers of the area, ranging from ranch owners to people that he claims to have researched were in fact the military personal who responded to the saucers crash back in forty seven. After learning this I walked away from everything with a whole new perspective, I don’t think it matters too much to Mitchell that he knows that aliens exist and is on some sort of Fox Mulder crusade to rip the veil from of the eyes which the general public proudly wears. No I think that the true intention may be to keep the original lore of the night of July 7, 1947 in Roswell New Mexico alive. If he convinces a couple of people along the way it’s probably a plus but at least in this time when any damned fool, not unlike myself, can go on the internet and say and thing they want, he is keeping the tale alive the way stories have sense the first story was told.
Now for my entire life I have liked the idea of visitors from space, I have never cared if they were the hippy technology giving verity or the bad ass we are going to rape your planet kind, I just kind of wanted the fantastic to come real and spice up what is a fairly repetitive history log that us humans have. Do I think that what Mitchell says is true? Not really but I appreciate what he has done to help keep some bullshit childhood fantasy of mine alive.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Cathode Poisoning
Well here I am blogging along through the universe on a collision course that I cannot even begin to fathom. I’ve pretty much felt the cold steel of determination pressed against my throat to post something rather meaningful to my personal being, a topic that I hold pretty dear to my heart, yet I’m having quite the time trying to articulate how I want to go about talking about it. I think its rather funny how I can spend hours on end imagining the various points of what I want to write about and how I’m going to link each point to the next yet the second I sit down I feel some sort of primal need to do everything conceivable that isn’t writing. I’m no longer in school and I don’t have a job that has deadlines so why the hell am I procrastinating? I’ve found myself watching TV shows for the first time in years. Now I’m not talking about the DVD sets of Arrested Development that I’ve watched time after time. No nothing as good as that I’ve ended up watching some trite bullshit and have felt quite opiated about the entire experience, which is quite a shocking feeling because I have tended to hate television for sometime now. The numbness of not having to exercise my mind is somehow comforting, the best way to help the understanding process is via simile: “Watching television is like running into that person that you knew in high school that was always kind of cool but after hanging out with them for an hour or two you remembered why you actively decided not to keep in touch.”
All of that said, I fucking hate TV. I’ve recently watched a show that many of my peers have told me was amazing called The Venture Brothers and while at times humorous at the most basic levels I realize that its fucking stupid. I enjoyed the first two novels in the Dexter series yet the television show just pissed me off, big time. Yet I sat through entire seasons of both of these shows within the last month. What the fuck is wrong with me? I have felt no mind expansion or anything like that from those precious hours stolen from me, yet I keep crawling back for more like some kind of cathode ray tube junkie who is just begging for his next fix. Pretty fucking sad if you ask me. The worst part of all this is that I’m most likely just going to go back to watching contrive bullshit after I post this.
Sorry for the lack of pictures and I’m going to sit down and write the real article in the next 24 hours, its about aliens and my time traveling future self from tomorrow told me its fan-fucking-tastic.
All of that said, I fucking hate TV. I’ve recently watched a show that many of my peers have told me was amazing called The Venture Brothers and while at times humorous at the most basic levels I realize that its fucking stupid. I enjoyed the first two novels in the Dexter series yet the television show just pissed me off, big time. Yet I sat through entire seasons of both of these shows within the last month. What the fuck is wrong with me? I have felt no mind expansion or anything like that from those precious hours stolen from me, yet I keep crawling back for more like some kind of cathode ray tube junkie who is just begging for his next fix. Pretty fucking sad if you ask me. The worst part of all this is that I’m most likely just going to go back to watching contrive bullshit after I post this.
Sorry for the lack of pictures and I’m going to sit down and write the real article in the next 24 hours, its about aliens and my time traveling future self from tomorrow told me its fan-fucking-tastic.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Welcome to the New Blog
Well here I am, a blogger. A real one. Hey look at me I have a blog! Writing a comic apparently isn’t enough for me so I decided to start this blog up as a side project. I’m hoping to have at least something posted once a week, a modest goal if I do say so myself. Anyhow if you scroll down you’ll see some of the stuff I’ve written recently so if you’ve already read it on the comic or on the myspace you don’t need to read it again. I assure you it hasn’t changed. Anyway for future posts I hope to include pictures and stuff because I’ve noticed that those blocks of text down there look like hell with nothing there to break them up.
Anyway I’ll probably put something new up on here in the next few days so you can be on the look out for that if you want.
Your Friend,
Sam
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