Indiana Jones And The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull

• Well, I took less than two weeks to update so that is something. It's just been sooo nice outside lately that I'm having a hard time wanting to spend time inside on the computer, maybe there will be more updates when it gets shitty out again. Any way on to the comic.
  
• First things first, I love Indiana Jones. Seriously he's probably one of the best fictitious characters ever. I've owned wide brim hats in the past just so I could see if that was what made him cool, incidentally that turned out poorly. But regardless of my cool level shortcomings Indiana Jones is the baddest mother fucker ever, if you have ever seen his wallet it's the one with another wallet printed on it which has the phrase "Bad Mother Fucker" inscribed on that one. Indiana Jones once met the devil and beat him in a damned fiddle duel, and he had never touched one before that moment. In short he is the closest thing to God man shall ever know… Or at lest he was up until the point that The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull came out.
  
• I mean there were parts to this film that I really wanted to like, I did. I swear I tried to like it. I didn't even hate the fact that they introduced his "Kid Sidekick" slash son. I could live with that. Seriously I could have. But once Indy climbed into a refrigerator to escape a nuclear test AND LIVED I knew that the movie wasn't going to be anything like what an Indiana Jones movie should be. I mean that scene would have been fucking awesome in almost any other movie, its silly, its over the top, and it should have been fun. The problem though is while the Indy series is known for silly, over the top fun, its always been grounded in a little thing I like to call reality. I went into this film with my belief suspension meter set to five on a ten point scale, knowing I would see things that would never happen in the real world, the movie though really wanted to have your belief suspension meter set on eleven. Vine swinging monkey fight. I needed to say it, that total was crap. My father has a firm theory concerning television shows and I think that it rings true with movie franchises as well it goes something like this: "The second a T.V. show has a "Monkey Episode" you know that it will never be funny again. This movie was literally the "Monkey Episode" in the Indiana Jones series. But I think the thing that burns my ass the most is the way that they wasted what could have been an epic adventure with Indiana Jones in El Dorado by filling it with Trans-dimensional aliens. I mean how bad could a film with a title like: "Indiana Jones and the City of Gold" have been, shit I almost would still see that, pending that George Lucas didn't fucking write it at this point. Perhaps they would need to subtitle it with "There are no aliens in this film" but then we would have to hope someone like James didn't put that tag line on the poster. God damn. I mean the "Last Crusade" was a good enough film that I just accepted that Lancelot had been waiting with the Holy Grail for a few hundred years for someone to try and use it, but aliens? ALIENS? Even James fucking Cameron couldn't have made this movie work and we sure as fuck know Spielberg couldn't. What I think is the most disappointing aspect though (which is different from ass burning) is the way the film had been marketed, I really wanted to see a fun film where Indy fights communism, I wanted to sit down and watch a film that would have come out in the 1970's, it could have been campy and over the top on patriotism and I would have loved every second of the film, but the Commies were regulated to second rate villains that could have been replaced by villainous trope in the hat. I guess I have digi-vented long enough so I'm going to wrap this up now. God damn…